Why worry or fight? Have the money talks without the walk.
When was the last time you had a meaningful conversation with your spouse about money? Beyond the sly spending remark when 4-5 packages show at your door in a day.
Six months? Couple years?
Money discussions affect relationships, especially when needed talks are put off too long or just don’t happen.
You and your partner need to be on the same page, which means talking honestly and regularly about finances. Research shows constant arguments about money can foreshadow divorce as couples use harsher language with each other, the arguments last for longer and are quickly revisited.
Warning Signs:
You’re uncomfortable about some aspect of your partner’s financial student loans, credit card debt, or lack of savings.
Your partner’s money habits directly impact your ability to reach short-term goals or stay on budget.
You’ve tried to define saving and spending priorities, only to be told,“It will all work out”.
To have effective conversations and stay positive, consider these best practices:
Avoid dreaded words. No one wants to hear, “We need to talk.” When someone says that, your defenses go up and you seek the fastest way to distract and divert focus.
Start with the positive. Bring up things you’re both doing well, goals you want to achieve together and then brainstorm how to get there more efficiently.
Withhold criticisms. If you have concerns or your spouse struggles with a problem like debt, admit your own financial faults and ask for their help in finding a solution and executing. This opens ways to discuss other financial problems and shows that you’re looking for solutions and not a fight.
Goals and values. Think of open-ended questions about what you and your spouse value and aspire to do. Questions like:
What changes do we want to make in the next 3 years?
Of the changes we’ve made the last 3 years, what could we have done better?
Which changes do we have to make this year?
What do you envision for retirement?
How about semi-retirement?
What’s the vision and aspirations for our kids, our parents?
Consider a 3rd party. Not your neighbor, uncle, or co-worker, but an unbiased, financial fiduciary. It will take time, effort, and hours for him/her to become your trusted advisor. However, when you’re both engaged and questions are asked, he/she can be your accountability partner.
The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.
Glenn Brown is a Holliston resident and owner of PlanDynamic, LLC, www.PlanDynamic.com. Glenn is a Certified Financial Planner™, Chartered Retirement Planning Counselor and fee-only fiduciary helping clients take control of planning and investing, so they can balance kids, aging parents and financial independence.
This article appeared in the October editions of Holliston Local Town Pages, Ashland Local Town Pages and Natick Local Town Pages.
Please call me at (508) 834-7733 or directly schedule a meeting to learn more about considerations for planning and investing so you can balance kids, aging parents and your financial independence.
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